Crying like a big baby

Last time I mention it, still screwed up over the dumping but I now understand why. When dumping someone don’t say or intimate that you don’t love the dumpee. Do anything but that.

Lie, tell them you cheated on them 5,000 times and every time was better than anything you ever did with them. Tell them you’re a government agent who is being sent on a secret mission to Mars and you’ll never be seen nor heard from ever, ever again. Tell them you have the HERP and don’t want to get them sick. Tell them you’re joining the priesthood or becoming a nun.

Tell them the truth, they are far too fat, thin, ugly, handsome, rich, poor, drunk, sober, unmotivated, motivated, tall or short…whatever.

That being said, a few posts ago I said the experience was not a learning one; it obviously was.
What I’ve learned leads me to ask if I’ve ever told a dumpee that I didn’t love them. I can’t recall all the specifics to the end of every relationship, seems I may have come close with Lady Deutschland and Lady E, but if I ever said this or intimated it…I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. I loved all of you in someway.

On the subject of relationships that have ended, in these here modern times I feel that it’s way harder to just up and forget about someone because of all the ways we have of communicating. Tweets, texts, facebook statuses, e-mails, instant messages, Youtube videos, blogs, message boards, online photo galleries and so on. Back in the day, you could just cut the faces of your ex out of group photos and erase their number off the autodial on your spiffy new non-rotary phone. If they sent you a letter, you could fire up the BBQ and burn that and anything else they may have given you. It was easy!

It’s a lot harder to burn a digital footprint. I’ve yet to remove Lady X’s e-mail address from my Yahoo account so every time we’re both logged on she pops up in the stupid instant message window as a little yellow smiley face. When I see the little smiley I immediately begin crying like a big baby. That’s not true…okay maybe I cry a little, but that’s not the point. The point is that it does get me thinking about her which is not conducive to forgetting about her.

Just fixed that…erased the Youtube movies I had of her and deleted her name from my e-mail. Here’s to moving on: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xstpe_mark-morrison-return-of-the-mack_music

Being dumped sucks, but I’m sure most people already know that.

I’ve been surprised how anxious Lady X not loving me has made me. However, it’s not so much about her, it’s about me. I’m anxious about never being loved. I supposed this is a normal fear after the collapse of a relationship and is ridiculous or is it?

Anyway, I don’t want to make this blog about…Shit, just heard that an earthquake has hit Indonesia, one of the countries Lady X is visiting on her vacation. She focused on Bali which is far to the east of the where the quake actually hit, a place called Pendang. Still, I don’t know her exact itinerary. I’ve tried to contact someone else who knows her to see if they know exactly where she was headed and when.

Just heard back, the mutual friend believes she isn’t in Indonesia yet. Good.

I was going to write about the beginning of this Fall’s Ultimate Frisbee season, but that will have to wait because I just got back from my second day of playing in a week and I need to shower.