Pain

My wrist is aching right now. More than likely it’s nothing serious but it’s been sore since Wednesday of last week.

I was lifting weights, doing upright rows with a barbell to be exact, and I felt a pull and some pain. I shrugged it off and continued my sets and by the end of the exercise the pain was pretty noticeable. Still, I finished lifting, played Frisbee that night, lots of snapping wrist movement in that, and I lifted more weights the next day, All the while the wrist was noticeably sore.

I’ve done this my entire life, not because I’ve got some kind of high pain tolerance (I’m not sure that I do) but because no one has ever told me to stop. Pain has always been something that you play or work through.

I find this to be a blessing but fear that as I get older it might become a curse.

It’s a blessing because it’s taught me not to stop when a little something gets in my way, to not quit. As a kid, scrapes and bruises are things to be cherished. If you fall down, you get back up because if you don’t you’re going to miss part of the fun. As a teen, coaches tell you to play through it. When you do, you’ve taken one for the team. In the Army if you don’t pull your own weight, someone else is going to have to pull it for you. In the direst of circumstances this will get people injured or even killed.

This unwillingness to stop got me through plenty of physical and mental challenges. In high school, I excelled at sports and was recognized for my toughness. In the Army, I exceeded expectations and was recognized as a leader. In college, everything that could go wrong did. It would have been the easiest thing in the world to drop out and I doubt that anyone would have blamed me. Still, after many stops and starts I made it through.

However, now that I’m older, I worry that this mentality is going to cause me some kind of permanent physical disability. For example, will my wrist now develop arthritis when I get older? What about the ankle I seriously sprained a few years ago?

After first injuring it and being mostly unable to stand I finished out the match…what could I do, there’s no other goalie. I stayed off it for a game, which gave it two weeks rest but it did little good. While warming up for the next match I took a shot to the ankle and collapsed in agony. Yes, the game hadn’t even started yet.

So, I think I’m going to give the wrist a little break from lifting weights. I’ll keep playing Frisbee and soccer and try to avoid moving it the way I move it that makes it hurt. Hopefully in another few days the pain will subside and I’ll be able to carry my bike up the stairs again. If not…I probably still keep playing. After all, I’ll be taking one for the team.

Being dumped sucks, but I’m sure most people already know that.

I’ve been surprised how anxious Lady X not loving me has made me. However, it’s not so much about her, it’s about me. I’m anxious about never being loved. I supposed this is a normal fear after the collapse of a relationship and is ridiculous or is it?

Anyway, I don’t want to make this blog about…Shit, just heard that an earthquake has hit Indonesia, one of the countries Lady X is visiting on her vacation. She focused on Bali which is far to the east of the where the quake actually hit, a place called Pendang. Still, I don’t know her exact itinerary. I’ve tried to contact someone else who knows her to see if they know exactly where she was headed and when.

Just heard back, the mutual friend believes she isn’t in Indonesia yet. Good.

I was going to write about the beginning of this Fall’s Ultimate Frisbee season, but that will have to wait because I just got back from my second day of playing in a week and I need to shower.