For the love of lady X

Oddly, I was apparently dumped by the girlfriend I never had in the first place this evening. Yes, it’s as weird as it sounds.

So Woman X and I have been together for about the last 2 months. We’ve dated, went on a small vacation together, had a very healthy sex life and I believe seen each other exclusively. In my eyes she’s given the impression that she’s very much enjoyed what we have. She’s been in constant contact, says she worries about me if I don’t wear my bike helmet (a small sample of how she has illustrated that she cares about me) and has had unprotected sex with me numerous times. We’ve shared stories about our families, our pasts and talked about our futures. It has been much more intimate than other girls I’ve seen off and on or that I have enjoyed the friends with benefits situation with. To me, she’s given every impression of us being a couple, as a matter of fact, just the other day in front of a mutual friend I described X as a woman I was “seeing” and the friend insisted that X and I were a couple.

This evening X told me that she didn’t want us, as a couple, to be exclusive. She’s still on…fuck, I can’t remember what Internet dating service it is…but she says she has no plans to leave it but would still like to “date” me. Furthermore, she says that she’s not sure I’m the “one” and that she still needs the freedom to try to discover who the “one” might be.

I’d be cool with that if X was an inexperienced dater, but she’s no wallflower. If I was to judge by her own admissions, I’d say that she’s had a very active dating life. She’s shared stories about how she’s dated doctors, politicians and police officers and a bit about the sexual and emotional relationship she’s had with each. In my opinion, X has had a front row seat to many relationships that haven’t worked out for one reason or another.

Emotionally, I’m at a loss. I really don’t feel that I can make some grandiose Will-like statement on why this happened. Oh, plenty of theories run rampant in my head but…well, I’m just not ready yet to paint X as the bad guy. She may truly be confused or…well, whatever…