whose birthday?

This is very odd; I forgot my birthday is coming up. I’m not sure how this happened. I’ve felt a little out of sorts the past week or so and time really has been flying by. Seems I sleep, go to work, come home and sleep some more. That’s something else, I’ve really been craving sleep. I’ll look at the clock at 7 PM and think, “Wow, I should go to sleep now.” I’m not really sleepy but sleep sounds absolutely fantastic all the time. Maybe it’s because the weather has been very rainy and cloudy. I always feel like I get a bit depressed when it’s like this and nothing fits with depression better than sleep. Anyway, where was I…oh, birthday. Some family members are having me over this weekend, they said they needed some help at their new house. I bet they’re going to take me out for a beer or something. I only remembered because my good friend e-mailed me and asked what I was doing on my birthday. That’s when I looked at the calendar and thought, “Oh shit, my birthday is in a few days.” Hmm, that a little weird when other have to remind you when your birthday is.

I’ve been feeling out of sorts lately, a bit depressed, a bit afraid, restless and a bit worried about just about everything under the sun.

These feelings run through every aspect of my life: low pay, no roommate, lack of money, no prospect for a relationship, blah, blah, blah. I guess it could be identified as the classic-lower-middle-class-malaise that so many single people in their late twenties and early thirties find themselves in from time to time. Still, that doesn’t make me feel any better.

A few days ago when I joked with a friend about this feeling she told me that life wasn’t a race. After thinking about it for a bit, I have to say, no it is. Although I’m no longer measuring myself against others I am measuring myself against the passage of time.

For example, next year I’ll officially be on the downside of my thirties, which puts me at approximately halfway through the average man’s life span of 72. With my military stint and my struggle though college I began saving and investing late. Now my retirement and my investments are hemorrhaging funds, finances are so tight my savings has nearly vanished and I don’t want to attempt (I stress that in this economy) to leave a job I am still using for experience for a job that pays better. Because of this, I worry this financial instability will keep me in economic limbo and the stresses that accompany it for the rest of my life.

Damn, sometimes life is a bitch.

Here is some giggity: http://www.keyetv.com/mediacenter/local.aspx?videoid=21056@keye.dayport.com&navCatId=24

Giant Balls!!!

Turned down but not off

So I got turned down again by someone I get along really well with. No problem, as I wasn’t romantically attached but that’s not the end of it because she keeps calling me and inviting me to events. I appreciate that and I always have a great time but I’m betting dollars to doughnuts that when a new guy comes along I’ll be tossed aside like yesterdays ham sandwich. Not that she’d be intentionally cruel mind you. It’s just what happens in male/female friendships, a woman in a romantic relationship with a man cannot have a male for a best friend and vice-versa. Like putting your brain into a robot body, there is just something about it that goes against the natural order.

Now, here’s where the problem arises. The more I invest in our friendship the more disappointment I’ll experience when she does find someone. Does this sound right? Should I do my best to avoid her? Should I just forget about it, have fun now and be disappointed when I’m kicked to the side?

Speaking of relationships or lack thereof, I’ve been focusing way too much on the idea lately. Maybe it’s the news of a past girlfriend’s pregnancy or the whole getting turned down thing, but I’ve been dwelling on my lack of prospects and questioning myself.

My prospects at the moment are jack and shit and jack just left town. It’s not that I’m a shut-in and am just not putting myself out there. I play one sport all year round and another a few months out of the year. I go out with friends at least once a week, work out at a gym and live in downtown Sacramento which is a hot bed of young ladies. Still, the river runs dry and I think the main reason is my age.

At 34, most of my friends and acquaintances are married or in long term relationships, the majority of my co-workers are over 40 and most of the ladies I run into while I’m out and about are under 30.

So I either need to find a married lady who likes to swing, an older lady who likes younger men or young lady who like older guys.

Today's link goodness: http://www.glumbert.com/media/honestrb