The Breather

So a few posts ago I went off about everyone getting healthy by heading to the gym and eating less. Well, I take it back. Please eat as little as you want but I’ve realized that not everyone should be allowed in the gym. Actually some people should only be allowed to exercise in an open field several miles away from any civilization. Case in point, “The Breather” who works out at the same YMCA I do.

The Breather is a middle-aged white guy approximately 5’10” and weighing in between 210 to 230 lbs. He’s a hairy fellow (not Robin Williams hairy but hairy enough that it’s hard not to notice) whose choice of exercise attire consists of a tight black tank-top, a pair of old white trainers and black bicycle shorts.

Bicycle shorts…strike one.

No man should ever wear bicycle shorts, or really any other type of skintight outfit, out in public for any reason. What about professional bicyclists, swimmers, divers and weight lifters you’re asking. I repeat, no man should ever wear any type of skintight outfit out in public for any reason. Listen, I can swim, lift weights, sprint, dive and ride a bike in good old regular athletic shorts. When I wrestled in high school I wore a singlet but in practice I wore shorts and a shirt and I still wrestled as well…or as bad as I did in the singlet. It’s a scientific fact that Bicycle shorts and other skintight apparel are bad for men and they make those around you uncomfortable.

The Breather likes to run on the treadmill. Now, it seems to me that running on the treadmill should be the exercise that is least annoying to other gym patrons. You just turn on the machine and there you go. There should be no shouting, grunting, groaning or touching of another gym patron and the area where you might actually leave a few drops of sweat is pretty limited. Apparently, the Breather would disagree.

To be continued….

Click here: http://www.ehow.com/

How do I do that?