It's the end of the world as we know it: Part I

So I like to keep up with offbeat news, you know conspiracy theories, aliens and Bigfoot kind of stuff. I’m fascinated by how they’re started, how they’re perpetuated and by those who don’t just believe them, but actually treat them like a religion. For them facts, common sense and Occam’s Razor mean nothing. Instead, it’s all about faith.

There are two big areas being mined for conspiracy theories these days: the approach of the year 2012, when many people believe the Mayan calendar predicts the world will end; and the election of President Barak Obama, who many people believe is the pawn of a secret group of world leaders often referred to as the New World Order.

The 2012 theory varies from conspiracy to conspiracy. Some see the end of the Mayan calendar, which is in and of itself debatable, as the Catholic Apocalypse. Others see a catastrophic event like a meteor hitting the earth, and some believe that it won’t be just a meteor but an entire planet colliding with us. It is said that astronomers are either silenced by the government or they can’t see the meteor/planet because it is behind our sun.

Conspiracy’s concerning President Obama revolve mostly around him being a pawn of the NWO and using his cult of personality to create a totalitarian state in much the same way Hitler did in Nazi Germany. Apparently with Obama in power, citizens will be stripped of their right to bear arms, a civilian police force will be created, martial law will be declared and our evil alien overlords will be allowed to feast on us like cattle. Okay, that last part is a bit of a joke…or is it?

Mr. David Icke, a one time footballer now rabid conspiracy theorist, believes that many of the world’s leaders, including Britain ’s late Queen Mother and George Bush are actually Reptoids. For those not in the know, Reptoids are reptilian beings from another galaxy that eat human flesh. On the subject of Icke, he’s sure that Obama and his “controllers” are pulling a fast one over on the world and that we’ll be goose-stepping and having our brains eaten by our Reptoid masters even before the 2012 comet reduces us to space dust.

Icke isn’t the only one convinced were heading towards certain doom. Well known warrior against the New World Order, Alex Jones is so sure he’s releasing a movie on the coming Obama nightmare. His thoughts mirror Icke’s, minus the carnivorous Reptoids, and end with rebellious citizens being imprisoned in concentration camps in Colorado . According to Jones, the children of our country are already being indoctrinated in ways similar to the Nazi youth movement.

Facts, theories and logic aside I’m left with two questions: “towards what end? and “why now?”

California Dreaming

Well, we have a new president. It’s all pretty exciting, but I’ll spare you the echoes of my jubilation as the event has been covered extensively. I’ll only say, congratulations and good luck President Obama. You have your work cut out for you, but you have the hope and dreams of an entire world behind you.

I am however still going to drop a note on politics, but on those that aren’t happening in the state. Yes, aren’t. The California legislature, the governor, the state controller, the attorney general, pretty much every elected state official currently in office has been unable to pass an emergency budget needed to keep the state fiscally solvent. Still, they’ve been huddled over a mediation table feverishly trying to hammer out an agreement that will save California …or have they.

Of course, they took off for at least a few weeks for the holidays. No big deal right. I mean firefighters would do the same if a raging wildfire fell over Christmas. Oh, and the main players, including the governor and the speaker, recently left for a week to visit DC. They took in the sites, attended the inauguration and hit up a few of the parties. Good for them, when I was in the military and I was confronted with a crisis but someone was throwing a really good party, I’d often hit up the party (especially if I thought the attendees might be people that could further my career).

But I’m going to be careful about blaming just our elected officials. I think they’re totally inept, selfish and lazy but our citizens aren’t that much better. State employees are getting ready to take a 10 percent pay cut, schools are looking at cutting their hours, colleges have sliced enrollment, and on and on. Still, in my department, we really haven’t been asked to find anyway to cut our costs. Instead, managers are angling to keep their perks like the student assistants that answer their phones and file their papers. We just had four brand new flatscreen televisions put up in our office. (We use them for work, but we already had regular televisions.) People on public assistance are marching around the state capital decrying possible cuts to their respective programs and then going home and watching premium cable that costs them $100 bucks a month.

So not only are we doing very little to help ourselves currently, I’m sure will continue to do the same when we, the citizens of California, vote these politicians that have been working so hard on our behalf, back into office.

Clickity: http://www.iousathemovie.com/

I just saw this movie tonight. Maybe one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen!

Return of the FLY: Part II

I killed it. Then there was another. I killed that one to.

I attempted to see where they were coming from but their entry point remained a mystery. It was as if they were appearing out of midair, a kind of Amityville Horror scenario in Sacramento.

I turned off the computer and chased flies for the rest of the night until I went to sleep around 9:30. In all I probably killed over 20 flies. Before hitting the sack, I turned the heat way down and all the lights off in the hopes that whatever they were attracted to in the room would no longer entice them.

It seemed to work, as I was able to sleep through the night and when I got up there were no flies.

That was true, until I got home from work the next day. Walking into my room I found about 6 of the fat bastards, sluggish from the cold, sitting on the walls and the ceiling. I was able to take tissues and kill them with a satisfying “Pop” and then I did another sweep of the house. Still no strange smells, bad food, dead things or open windows.

I killed another 10 flies before going to bed, again turning off all the lights and lowering the heat.

So I woke up this morning to a fly free room. I went to work like normal and when I came home there were another 5 of the fat bastards sluggishly sitting on the walls. I killed them and for a few minutes I sat here in peace. I was going to write that all was clear, but I just looked up and lo and behold there are another 5 flies on the ceiling around the light!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!! DIE BASTARDS!!!!!

Return of the Fly: Part I

I was going to write a movie review concerning “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (it’s pretty good, but not great) but instead the freakish, haunted house kind of thing that happened last night demands attention.

Yesterday evening I got home about 4:30 or so and did a few chores till around 7 when I decided to jump on the computer for a little World of Warcraft. Almost immediately a big, fat, black, fly flew by my head. He was all slow, I’m guessing from the cold, and was heading towards my ceiling lamp, I’m guessing to warm up.

Now, I haven’t seen a fly in my house for months and I was curious as to where this fat little bastard came from. Winter and a cold and fairly clean house don’t really add up to the optimal fly environment, but I didn’t think about it much, figuring that it had flown in from outside somehow.

Anyway, he flew towards the light (Not today bro!) and I jumped up and smacked him dead with a rolled up “Men’s Health” magazine. I then went back to the computer.

Not but a few minutes later I noticed another fat, black fly flying around being annoying and another already sitting on the ceiling near the lamp. Now I was beginning to think that something was wrong. I chased around the flies, killed them and then went and checked to see that all the windows were closed in the house and that there was nothing rotting somewhere. I mean, I’m a pretty clean guy but every once in a while I might leave something in the sink for too long. I’ve never left anything out long enough to get that disgusting, but I wanted to make sure, you know, just in case.

Well, the house was clean, the windows were closed and everything was looking pretty normal, but when I came back into my room there was another fly!