When real is too real Part II

One of the entries on the Google search page led to another description of the video and this one did have a link. Again, I followed it.

Why?

That’s a tough question. For one thing, I was 99 percent sure it was a hoax for the reasons I cite above. On the off chance that it was real, well, I guess I’m just as curious about death as the next person. What is it? What does it look like? Does it hurt? Is it scary? It’s a morbid curiosity, but one I’m willing to bet hits a very large percent of the American population.

The link sent me to an underground extreme pornography/gore site. I know these kinds of things are out there and had stumbled across them in my Web travels. From what little I have seen it looks like they contain a lot of military video of casualties, pictures of gruesome deaths that have found their way out of news agencies and police stations, bloody injuries and extreme sexual content. What I’ve seen in the real world and in the news is enough for me, so this voyeuristic second hand take holds little interest.

Still, I was on the site where the typical start movie graphic was playing, a kind of evil YouTube page as it were. I hit the play button and angled my cursor to be ready to close the screen if need be. At most, I saw 5 seconds of the video before getting the hell out of there. I’m 99 percent sure the video is real.

I didn’t see much and what I did see wasn’t particularly brutal or nasty but it was convincing. Its non-film feel and its simplicity tell me that it’s indeed what people are saying it is.

This thing hit me like a truck. It has nothing to do with what I did or didn’t see. Instead, it’s just knowing that this thing is out there that has floored me. My feelings mirror what I experienced after a few other events. It’s an emotional confusion…a crushing sorrow…a raging anger…a struggle to grasp at reality and lots of fear. Fear for the world, my friends, my family, myself.