Universal Truths that only I seem to know

I’m not sure why, but there seems to be a handful of Universal Truths that only I know. In an attempt to remedy this here they are, in no particular order:

1. Julia Roberts is not attractive.
2. Reading a comic book is considered reading.
3. It’s important for people to have hobbies and to spend time alone enjoying them.
4. Crocs, the plastic shoe/sandal things, are hideous.
5. “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” is the worst movie ever made.
6. You can learn life skills playing Dungeons and Dragons.
7. Robin Williams is extremely creepy.
8. It’s fun to play board games.
9. Visible thong underwear is not attractive.
10. Listening to National Public Radio will keep you well informed.
11. Being oblivious to the world around you is dangerous and will cost you and possibly the rest of the world in the long run.
12. Sooner or later people become slaves to the things they own.
13. Men should not have smooth hairless bodies. Some grooming is good, too much and you’re a narcissistic asshole.
14. Automobiles are more dangerous than guns and we treat them like toys.
15. Introspection is the most important step in improving oneself.
16. The smell of one’s own farts is comforting.