So I had to pay a quick visit to the doctor’s office yesterday. Nothing serious, I’ve just had water stuck in my ears for the last 9 days. (Actually since it’s probably still in there, today will be day 10.) It seems that jamming Q-Tips into my ears in order to “clean” them has really only succeeded in building an incredibly solid wall of wax. Disgusting I know, and possible painful if the water behind them sits too long and causes an infection.
To remove these walls, I first have to use oil to change them from crusty hard to moist and malleable. My doctor said that normally she’d do this with regular mineral oil, but in my case she decided to go with something a bit stronger. What she used and says works best….get ready for it….baby stool softener.
Yes, baby stool softener was put in my ears and it’s still in there. See, the first round of stool softener and warm water rinse didn’t do the job, so I was sent home with more softener and told to come back on Friday. Now, twice a day I’m using it to loosen the wax in my ears.
I suppose this “cure” goes a long way in proving that I really am a shithead, with shit for brains who needs to clean the shit out of his ears.
On a similar note, with the addition of the baby stool softener the wax seems to be expanding making it so that I can’t hear shit.
No wonder the ladies love me!
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