Hollywood Monster
By Robert Englund and Alan Goldsher
One, two Freddy’s coming for you…
This autobiography skips along like a nursery rhyme singing school girl. It begins with young Krueger…I mean Englund…joining an acting group for the sole purpose of picking up on girls and ends with him holding his current title of horror movie icon.
It’s a fun journey that sees Englund as a joker, husband, college student, stage snob, divorcee, struggling character actor, television star and movie star. Each section in his life is briefly described and a short story or two is shared from that period of time. The stories are light and easy and I found it disappointing that he never dips more than a gloved knife finger into waters that could run very, very deep. For example, you won’t find out how Englund feels about violence, the role he feels horror plays in society or what if any memory he channels to play a vicious child killer.
You will however discover the he loves women. It seems that not a page goes by where he isn’t mentioning the assets of a nubile young co-star or the biker chick who had him autograph her breasts.
Another thing you take away from the book is how appreciative Englund is of all those who have participated in his journey. He praises just about everyone from Henry Fonda to Jan-Michael Vincent and never has a bad word for anyone.
All in all, it’s an enjoyably quick read but too shallow to have any lasting effect.
-------------------
Recently, I’ve been a reading machine.
I don’t know if it’s my vow of celibacy or my reduced alcohol consumption but I just can’t stop reading.
Since Christmas I’ve read:
Jack Ketchum’s Off Season – see my earlier review.
Robert E. Howards’s The Savage Tales of Solomon Kane – Howard is the king of high adventure! His stories about the puritan Kane are exciting, bloody and always a welcome punch to the imagination.
Robert Englund’s Hollywood Monster: A Walk Down Elm Street with the Man of Your Dreams - see above.
Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s Good Omen’s: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch – a very funny tale about a demon and an angel who unite to stop the end of the world from taking place. Why? Because they’ll miss the food, wine, music and other creature comforts the world currently offers.
Louis Sachar’s Holes – an award-winning children’s book about a kid who is sent to a prison camp where they do nothing but dig holes. The background story is magical.
I’m currently a little less than halfway through Edward Lee’s Black Train – oh, lordy. This book is disgustingly wrong in so many ways but I can’t wait to see what happens.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Brutally Off Season
Off Season
By Jack Ketchum
This book is filled with cannibal children, incest, torture, blood, death, mutilation, inbreeds, sex, throat slashing, woman-on-a-spit nastiness and I read it in the span of a few hours.
I’ll spare you a long synopsis on story and character development because there is none. All you really need to know is this: Cannibal Hillbillies versus Yuppies. It’s the Scottish legend of Sawney Bean and the remake of “The Hills Have Eyes” rolled up in “Straw Dogs.” Story not required. Too bad it is needed to create a truly terrifying book.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe this is Ketchum’s first novel but he already seemed a veteran at pacing action scenes and in describing blood drenched horrors in nauseating detail. What he wasn’t so good at was all that other stuff that normally goes into a novel: dialogue, character and all that.
Because these basic concepts are poorly constructed or nonexistent you never feel for the characters. Neither are you ever able to put yourself in their place or feel connected to their surroundings.
Still, even with these failings the book is not bad. It’s a slasher setup, pure and simple. If that is what you’re after, you’ll love it. I look forward to reading more of Ketchum’s stuff when I need a break from other weighty tomes I might be consuming.
By Jack Ketchum
This book is filled with cannibal children, incest, torture, blood, death, mutilation, inbreeds, sex, throat slashing, woman-on-a-spit nastiness and I read it in the span of a few hours.
I’ll spare you a long synopsis on story and character development because there is none. All you really need to know is this: Cannibal Hillbillies versus Yuppies. It’s the Scottish legend of Sawney Bean and the remake of “The Hills Have Eyes” rolled up in “Straw Dogs.” Story not required. Too bad it is needed to create a truly terrifying book.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe this is Ketchum’s first novel but he already seemed a veteran at pacing action scenes and in describing blood drenched horrors in nauseating detail. What he wasn’t so good at was all that other stuff that normally goes into a novel: dialogue, character and all that.
Because these basic concepts are poorly constructed or nonexistent you never feel for the characters. Neither are you ever able to put yourself in their place or feel connected to their surroundings.
Still, even with these failings the book is not bad. It’s a slasher setup, pure and simple. If that is what you’re after, you’ll love it. I look forward to reading more of Ketchum’s stuff when I need a break from other weighty tomes I might be consuming.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Violently hoaxed
I recently wrote this to a friend who e-mailed me with a forward. He said he was disappointed with President Obama and that e-mails like the one he included were getting to him. The e-mail in question had a photo of the president at an event that involved the military. According to the photo description the president refused to salute during a ceremony honoring the soldiers killed in the Ft. Hood massacre:
I can understand being disappointed in a politician, but I’d base that disappointment on something more tangible than a mislabeled photo.
Pics don’t always have to be Photoshopped to be hoaxes, instead they can just be falsely attributed or described. That’s the case here. The photo isn’t from Fort Hood, it’s not taken as the honor guard passes and it wasn’t at an event to honor the soldiers killed at Ft. Hood.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/photos/veteransday.asp
President Obama isn’t a Muslim, a Kenyan, a terrorist, a member of the New World Order or a vampire. He doesn’t hate the military, freedom, the US, babies or apple pie. He is a smart guy who loves his country and wants to make it a better place. However, he is/was a bit naïve and overestimated the things he thought he’d be able to accomplish in a year.
The fraudsters that create this crap and the e-mailers who forward it are really starting to piss me off. Instead of offering up deserved criticism that can lead to intelligent debate and actual change for the better they prey on the base fears of an overworked, stressed demographic trying to scratch through what is an extremely difficult time in our country.
It could be argued that the extreme division they’re creating in the populace is as dangerous as some of the real terror we face from foreign enemies. I fear that it may be creating a perfect environment for unjustified violence.
Anyway, sorry to get all up in arms, I hope all is well. We haven’t spoken a while. I’ll give you a call this weekend.
I can understand being disappointed in a politician, but I’d base that disappointment on something more tangible than a mislabeled photo.
Pics don’t always have to be Photoshopped to be hoaxes, instead they can just be falsely attributed or described. That’s the case here. The photo isn’t from Fort Hood, it’s not taken as the honor guard passes and it wasn’t at an event to honor the soldiers killed at Ft. Hood.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/photos/veteransday.asp
President Obama isn’t a Muslim, a Kenyan, a terrorist, a member of the New World Order or a vampire. He doesn’t hate the military, freedom, the US, babies or apple pie. He is a smart guy who loves his country and wants to make it a better place. However, he is/was a bit naïve and overestimated the things he thought he’d be able to accomplish in a year.
The fraudsters that create this crap and the e-mailers who forward it are really starting to piss me off. Instead of offering up deserved criticism that can lead to intelligent debate and actual change for the better they prey on the base fears of an overworked, stressed demographic trying to scratch through what is an extremely difficult time in our country.
It could be argued that the extreme division they’re creating in the populace is as dangerous as some of the real terror we face from foreign enemies. I fear that it may be creating a perfect environment for unjustified violence.
Anyway, sorry to get all up in arms, I hope all is well. We haven’t spoken a while. I’ll give you a call this weekend.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Supreme Futtbucker
The Supreme Court is in session and the judges are out of their minds. Well, some of them are and surprise, surprise they all lean conservative. Although, this really shouldn’t be important as the issue seems totally nonpartisan to me, but anyway…
Their most recent decision undoes a century’s worth of campaign finance limitations on corporations, unions, non-profits and other group entities. In essence, it allows these organizations to have even more influence on who is elected to federal office.
Under the old system Widget Corporation (who makes widgets) could only spend a limited amount of money to run campaign ads in support of Presidential candidate Shamus Futtbucker. This ruling could make it possible for them to spend as much as their little heart desires, saturating all media with ads for Futtbucker.
Knowing this, Widget Corporation approaches Futtbucker with a proposition. They tell him they will bury the United States in ads championing him and trashing his opponents if, once in office, he’ll throw them a few bones i.e. lowering taxes on widgets, doing away with widget safety regulations and providing widget makers with federal funds for widget research.
What’s Futtbucker to do? He does what every other politician who wants to win does, he agrees.
If you don’t think situations like the above happen you’re serious deluded. They happen all the time and it’s extremely undemocratic. It negates all that great “Of the people, by the people and for the people” stuff the country was built on.
The question remains, why did conservative judges vote the way they did? Currently, conservative are screaming populism, the rule of the people and democracy in action as the reason for the upset victory of Republican Scott Brown in Massachusetts. It’s a slam against Obama they say! The people are not happy!
Will the people be happier if big money interests have more say in politics?
Guess we’ll have to wait and see.
Saw the movie, Crazy Heart last night. Jeff Bridges is great and Robert Duval, as always, is awesome! You can check out one of the songs on the movie’s Web site, here:
http://www.foxsearchlight.com/crazyheart/
Their most recent decision undoes a century’s worth of campaign finance limitations on corporations, unions, non-profits and other group entities. In essence, it allows these organizations to have even more influence on who is elected to federal office.
Under the old system Widget Corporation (who makes widgets) could only spend a limited amount of money to run campaign ads in support of Presidential candidate Shamus Futtbucker. This ruling could make it possible for them to spend as much as their little heart desires, saturating all media with ads for Futtbucker.
Knowing this, Widget Corporation approaches Futtbucker with a proposition. They tell him they will bury the United States in ads championing him and trashing his opponents if, once in office, he’ll throw them a few bones i.e. lowering taxes on widgets, doing away with widget safety regulations and providing widget makers with federal funds for widget research.
What’s Futtbucker to do? He does what every other politician who wants to win does, he agrees.
If you don’t think situations like the above happen you’re serious deluded. They happen all the time and it’s extremely undemocratic. It negates all that great “Of the people, by the people and for the people” stuff the country was built on.
The question remains, why did conservative judges vote the way they did? Currently, conservative are screaming populism, the rule of the people and democracy in action as the reason for the upset victory of Republican Scott Brown in Massachusetts. It’s a slam against Obama they say! The people are not happy!
Will the people be happier if big money interests have more say in politics?
Guess we’ll have to wait and see.
Saw the movie, Crazy Heart last night. Jeff Bridges is great and Robert Duval, as always, is awesome! You can check out one of the songs on the movie’s Web site, here:
http://www.foxsearchlight.com/crazyheart/
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Screwed
California is totally screwed. Our economy is in the dumps and the state’s credit rating was cut again. While it seems to me that all eyes should be focused on budget fixes the state’s legislature disagrees and dithers about with issues like the legalization of marijuana.
Here at my state department, we’re still pumping money into the economy with a big Executive staff trip to Sonoma for Strategic Planning and a project to plate the outside of our building with faux granite panels. Meanwhile social programs, state park hours, home care provider support, etcetera, etcetera sit precariously on the chopping block.
Sure, we’re not part of the general fund but in a case like this all state coffers should be pried open like sardine tins and the money placed where it’s needed most.
The state employees’ union hasn’t done the state or its members any favors. The governor has instituted furlough days, slashing state worker pay by 14 percent. Yes, this sucks but the union has been reactive instead of proactive. They currently have state courts tied up with lawsuits trying to stop and block furloughs and pay cuts. All this court time has so far cost the state a half million dollars more of its general fund monies. Thanks SEUI, it’s a little too late and…oh, a half million bucks short.
They should have worked with the governor and the legislature to jointly cut state personnel costs. Lend a hand in coming up with solutions, i.e. releasing all student assistants and retired annuitants, instituting a hiring freeze, beginning individual office audits, rethinking the state worker pension formula, canceling some contracts and looking over others.
Speaking of audits, I can’t forget the California Performance Review that CA Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger had done when he first took office. An investigatory panel stuffed four fat books with suggestions on how to save state money and how to better serve the public. To my knowledge, the State Legislature ignored most and the Governor backed down on many things in the report. This was probably a bad idea because according to the nonpartisan Legislative Analyst Office:
“LAO’s Bottom Line. The CPR provides the state with a valuable opportunity to comprehensively examine how it does business. It has made a serious effort at rethinking the current organization of state government and how it delivers services to the people of California . We find that many of its individual recommendations would move California toward a more efficient, effective, and accountable government.
At the same time, the rationale for some of its reorganization proposals is not clear, it does not examine whether the state should continue to perform certain functions, and many of its fiscal savings estimates are overstated.
For these reasons, it will be important for the Legislature to evaluate the merits of the proposals individually, looking at their policy trade-offs, their likely effectiveness, and their fiscal implications.
The Legislature also may wish to consider broadening the scope of reforms offered by CPR to include a more comprehensive examination of the state and local tax system, the role of constitutional officers, the state’s system of funding education, and the relationship between state and local government.”
Sad.
Here’s is more sadness, but at least it’s from the French:
http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/01/11/star-wars-dance-video/
Here at my state department, we’re still pumping money into the economy with a big Executive staff trip to Sonoma for Strategic Planning and a project to plate the outside of our building with faux granite panels. Meanwhile social programs, state park hours, home care provider support, etcetera, etcetera sit precariously on the chopping block.
Sure, we’re not part of the general fund but in a case like this all state coffers should be pried open like sardine tins and the money placed where it’s needed most.
The state employees’ union hasn’t done the state or its members any favors. The governor has instituted furlough days, slashing state worker pay by 14 percent. Yes, this sucks but the union has been reactive instead of proactive. They currently have state courts tied up with lawsuits trying to stop and block furloughs and pay cuts. All this court time has so far cost the state a half million dollars more of its general fund monies. Thanks SEUI, it’s a little too late and…oh, a half million bucks short.
They should have worked with the governor and the legislature to jointly cut state personnel costs. Lend a hand in coming up with solutions, i.e. releasing all student assistants and retired annuitants, instituting a hiring freeze, beginning individual office audits, rethinking the state worker pension formula, canceling some contracts and looking over others.
Speaking of audits, I can’t forget the California Performance Review that CA Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger had done when he first took office. An investigatory panel stuffed four fat books with suggestions on how to save state money and how to better serve the public. To my knowledge, the State Legislature ignored most and the Governor backed down on many things in the report. This was probably a bad idea because according to the nonpartisan Legislative Analyst Office:
“LAO’s Bottom Line. The CPR provides the state with a valuable opportunity to comprehensively examine how it does business. It has made a serious effort at rethinking the current organization of state government and how it delivers services to the people of California . We find that many of its individual recommendations would move California toward a more efficient, effective, and accountable government.
At the same time, the rationale for some of its reorganization proposals is not clear, it does not examine whether the state should continue to perform certain functions, and many of its fiscal savings estimates are overstated.
For these reasons, it will be important for the Legislature to evaluate the merits of the proposals individually, looking at their policy trade-offs, their likely effectiveness, and their fiscal implications.
The Legislature also may wish to consider broadening the scope of reforms offered by CPR to include a more comprehensive examination of the state and local tax system, the role of constitutional officers, the state’s system of funding education, and the relationship between state and local government.”
Sad.
Here’s is more sadness, but at least it’s from the French:
http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/01/11/star-wars-dance-video/
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Avatar
I saw Avatar twice over the holiday season, once with my Dad and sister and another time with my Mom. Seems the general viewing populace is enjoying it, as it is poised to become the number one grossing movie of all time. I think my Dad fell asleep but he still says he liked what he saw. My Mom went crazy for it and I think it maybe one of her most favorite movies of all time.
Sci-fi and movie geeks are split. While some find it a science fiction masterpiece others are disappointed in the plot’s lack of originality. The haters have a point. While it is visually stunning the plot is a rehash of the stranger-in-a-strange-land-leads-primitive-natives-against-a-technologically-advanced-invader kind of stuff. It’s been done a million times, but I found that Avatar did it really, really well.
Director, writer, producer James Cameron is a master storyteller. He captures the magic, heroism, sadness, humanity and adventure that allows the viewer to place him or herself right in the middle of the movie. He manipulates the audience’s feelings pulling them to highs and dropping them to lows right along with the movie’s characters.
Cheap and gimmicky? Perhaps, but still enjoyable. After all, a movie, book, television show, whatever doesn’t have to alienate someone with its hipness or tangled intelligence to be fun.
Not only did some sci-fi geeks not like it, Conservatives are in a tizzy over it. According to them, it’s anti-military, anti-business, anti-Catholic, anti-American, anti-human, anti….well, you name it. To them it’s just plain evil. It’s a liberal ideology guide put in place by the godless Cameron.
If that is the case, nearly half of all popular media is bound to upset them. Anyway, I give it two-thumbs up.
Best UFO footage of the 2009! http://www.ufocasebook.com/2010/video2009.html
Sci-fi and movie geeks are split. While some find it a science fiction masterpiece others are disappointed in the plot’s lack of originality. The haters have a point. While it is visually stunning the plot is a rehash of the stranger-in-a-strange-land-leads-primitive-natives-against-a-technologically-advanced-invader kind of stuff. It’s been done a million times, but I found that Avatar did it really, really well.
Director, writer, producer James Cameron is a master storyteller. He captures the magic, heroism, sadness, humanity and adventure that allows the viewer to place him or herself right in the middle of the movie. He manipulates the audience’s feelings pulling them to highs and dropping them to lows right along with the movie’s characters.
Cheap and gimmicky? Perhaps, but still enjoyable. After all, a movie, book, television show, whatever doesn’t have to alienate someone with its hipness or tangled intelligence to be fun.
Not only did some sci-fi geeks not like it, Conservatives are in a tizzy over it. According to them, it’s anti-military, anti-business, anti-Catholic, anti-American, anti-human, anti….well, you name it. To them it’s just plain evil. It’s a liberal ideology guide put in place by the godless Cameron.
If that is the case, nearly half of all popular media is bound to upset them. Anyway, I give it two-thumbs up.
Best UFO footage of the 2009! http://www.ufocasebook.com/2010/video2009.html
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Uncomfortable without exercise
I stopped exercising for awhile. I hurt my wrist in November and couldn’t lift weights, then the holidays kicked into full-swing and the gym was closed off-and-on for renovations; I guess it was a perfect storm that gave me the perfect excuse to skip a few weeks. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t gorged myself on holiday fare and washed it down with massive amounts of alcohol.
The last few weeks of my exercise sabbatical my breathing became labored. It wasn’t to the extreme of an asthma attack but it was a little worrying. Riding my bike home from work, which even at a leisurely pace doesn’t take longer then 20 minutes, left me noticeably more winded than usual.
My heart also felt like it was beating too fast for what I was doing everyday. Walking up some stairs or taking a walk with my Mom left me feeling weird, like I was having a panic attack where my heart would begin to race for no reason. Playing soccer the day before I hit the gym again made me feel like my heart was going to explode.
My sleep patterns became irregular. For the last week or so of not working out I was waking-up around 2:30 A.M. I’d lie in bed feeling like my heart was beating too fast and my breath was short. Eventually, around two hours later I’d fall back asleep but this interruption left me crazy tired the next day.
All in all, it made me very uncomfortable and I didn’t like it one bit. I felt sick when I knew I wasn’t but I started questioning myself anyway. Would I have a heart attack? Did I have asthma?
So I ran and lifted weights the last three days and I feel amazingly better than I did. My heartbeat and my breathing feel much closer to normal and my sleep has been out of this world. As a matter of fact, the Monday night after I exercised for the first time in two months my sleep was freaking fantastic.
Note to self: DON’T STOP EXERCISING FOR SUCH A LONG PERIOD OF TIME.
The last few weeks of my exercise sabbatical my breathing became labored. It wasn’t to the extreme of an asthma attack but it was a little worrying. Riding my bike home from work, which even at a leisurely pace doesn’t take longer then 20 minutes, left me noticeably more winded than usual.
My heart also felt like it was beating too fast for what I was doing everyday. Walking up some stairs or taking a walk with my Mom left me feeling weird, like I was having a panic attack where my heart would begin to race for no reason. Playing soccer the day before I hit the gym again made me feel like my heart was going to explode.
My sleep patterns became irregular. For the last week or so of not working out I was waking-up around 2:30 A.M. I’d lie in bed feeling like my heart was beating too fast and my breath was short. Eventually, around two hours later I’d fall back asleep but this interruption left me crazy tired the next day.
All in all, it made me very uncomfortable and I didn’t like it one bit. I felt sick when I knew I wasn’t but I started questioning myself anyway. Would I have a heart attack? Did I have asthma?
So I ran and lifted weights the last three days and I feel amazingly better than I did. My heartbeat and my breathing feel much closer to normal and my sleep has been out of this world. As a matter of fact, the Monday night after I exercised for the first time in two months my sleep was freaking fantastic.
Note to self: DON’T STOP EXERCISING FOR SUCH A LONG PERIOD OF TIME.
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