Hollywood Monster
By Robert Englund and Alan Goldsher
One, two Freddy’s coming for you…
This autobiography skips along like a nursery rhyme singing school girl. It begins with young Krueger…I mean Englund…joining an acting group for the sole purpose of picking up on girls and ends with him holding his current title of horror movie icon.
It’s a fun journey that sees Englund as a joker, husband, college student, stage snob, divorcee, struggling character actor, television star and movie star. Each section in his life is briefly described and a short story or two is shared from that period of time. The stories are light and easy and I found it disappointing that he never dips more than a gloved knife finger into waters that could run very, very deep. For example, you won’t find out how Englund feels about violence, the role he feels horror plays in society or what if any memory he channels to play a vicious child killer.
You will however discover the he loves women. It seems that not a page goes by where he isn’t mentioning the assets of a nubile young co-star or the biker chick who had him autograph her breasts.
Another thing you take away from the book is how appreciative Englund is of all those who have participated in his journey. He praises just about everyone from Henry Fonda to Jan-Michael Vincent and never has a bad word for anyone.
All in all, it’s an enjoyably quick read but too shallow to have any lasting effect.
-------------------
Recently, I’ve been a reading machine.
I don’t know if it’s my vow of celibacy or my reduced alcohol consumption but I just can’t stop reading.
Since Christmas I’ve read:
Jack Ketchum’s Off Season – see my earlier review.
Robert E. Howards’s The Savage Tales of Solomon Kane – Howard is the king of high adventure! His stories about the puritan Kane are exciting, bloody and always a welcome punch to the imagination.
Robert Englund’s Hollywood Monster: A Walk Down Elm Street with the Man of Your Dreams - see above.
Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s Good Omen’s: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch – a very funny tale about a demon and an angel who unite to stop the end of the world from taking place. Why? Because they’ll miss the food, wine, music and other creature comforts the world currently offers.
Louis Sachar’s Holes – an award-winning children’s book about a kid who is sent to a prison camp where they do nothing but dig holes. The background story is magical.
I’m currently a little less than halfway through Edward Lee’s Black Train – oh, lordy. This book is disgustingly wrong in so many ways but I can’t wait to see what happens.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Brutally Off Season
Off Season
By Jack Ketchum
This book is filled with cannibal children, incest, torture, blood, death, mutilation, inbreeds, sex, throat slashing, woman-on-a-spit nastiness and I read it in the span of a few hours.
I’ll spare you a long synopsis on story and character development because there is none. All you really need to know is this: Cannibal Hillbillies versus Yuppies. It’s the Scottish legend of Sawney Bean and the remake of “The Hills Have Eyes” rolled up in “Straw Dogs.” Story not required. Too bad it is needed to create a truly terrifying book.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe this is Ketchum’s first novel but he already seemed a veteran at pacing action scenes and in describing blood drenched horrors in nauseating detail. What he wasn’t so good at was all that other stuff that normally goes into a novel: dialogue, character and all that.
Because these basic concepts are poorly constructed or nonexistent you never feel for the characters. Neither are you ever able to put yourself in their place or feel connected to their surroundings.
Still, even with these failings the book is not bad. It’s a slasher setup, pure and simple. If that is what you’re after, you’ll love it. I look forward to reading more of Ketchum’s stuff when I need a break from other weighty tomes I might be consuming.
By Jack Ketchum
This book is filled with cannibal children, incest, torture, blood, death, mutilation, inbreeds, sex, throat slashing, woman-on-a-spit nastiness and I read it in the span of a few hours.
I’ll spare you a long synopsis on story and character development because there is none. All you really need to know is this: Cannibal Hillbillies versus Yuppies. It’s the Scottish legend of Sawney Bean and the remake of “The Hills Have Eyes” rolled up in “Straw Dogs.” Story not required. Too bad it is needed to create a truly terrifying book.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe this is Ketchum’s first novel but he already seemed a veteran at pacing action scenes and in describing blood drenched horrors in nauseating detail. What he wasn’t so good at was all that other stuff that normally goes into a novel: dialogue, character and all that.
Because these basic concepts are poorly constructed or nonexistent you never feel for the characters. Neither are you ever able to put yourself in their place or feel connected to their surroundings.
Still, even with these failings the book is not bad. It’s a slasher setup, pure and simple. If that is what you’re after, you’ll love it. I look forward to reading more of Ketchum’s stuff when I need a break from other weighty tomes I might be consuming.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Violently hoaxed
I recently wrote this to a friend who e-mailed me with a forward. He said he was disappointed with President Obama and that e-mails like the one he included were getting to him. The e-mail in question had a photo of the president at an event that involved the military. According to the photo description the president refused to salute during a ceremony honoring the soldiers killed in the Ft. Hood massacre:
I can understand being disappointed in a politician, but I’d base that disappointment on something more tangible than a mislabeled photo.
Pics don’t always have to be Photoshopped to be hoaxes, instead they can just be falsely attributed or described. That’s the case here. The photo isn’t from Fort Hood, it’s not taken as the honor guard passes and it wasn’t at an event to honor the soldiers killed at Ft. Hood.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/photos/veteransday.asp
President Obama isn’t a Muslim, a Kenyan, a terrorist, a member of the New World Order or a vampire. He doesn’t hate the military, freedom, the US, babies or apple pie. He is a smart guy who loves his country and wants to make it a better place. However, he is/was a bit naïve and overestimated the things he thought he’d be able to accomplish in a year.
The fraudsters that create this crap and the e-mailers who forward it are really starting to piss me off. Instead of offering up deserved criticism that can lead to intelligent debate and actual change for the better they prey on the base fears of an overworked, stressed demographic trying to scratch through what is an extremely difficult time in our country.
It could be argued that the extreme division they’re creating in the populace is as dangerous as some of the real terror we face from foreign enemies. I fear that it may be creating a perfect environment for unjustified violence.
Anyway, sorry to get all up in arms, I hope all is well. We haven’t spoken a while. I’ll give you a call this weekend.
I can understand being disappointed in a politician, but I’d base that disappointment on something more tangible than a mislabeled photo.
Pics don’t always have to be Photoshopped to be hoaxes, instead they can just be falsely attributed or described. That’s the case here. The photo isn’t from Fort Hood, it’s not taken as the honor guard passes and it wasn’t at an event to honor the soldiers killed at Ft. Hood.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/photos/veteransday.asp
President Obama isn’t a Muslim, a Kenyan, a terrorist, a member of the New World Order or a vampire. He doesn’t hate the military, freedom, the US, babies or apple pie. He is a smart guy who loves his country and wants to make it a better place. However, he is/was a bit naïve and overestimated the things he thought he’d be able to accomplish in a year.
The fraudsters that create this crap and the e-mailers who forward it are really starting to piss me off. Instead of offering up deserved criticism that can lead to intelligent debate and actual change for the better they prey on the base fears of an overworked, stressed demographic trying to scratch through what is an extremely difficult time in our country.
It could be argued that the extreme division they’re creating in the populace is as dangerous as some of the real terror we face from foreign enemies. I fear that it may be creating a perfect environment for unjustified violence.
Anyway, sorry to get all up in arms, I hope all is well. We haven’t spoken a while. I’ll give you a call this weekend.
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