Universal Truths that only I seem to know

I’m not sure why, but there seems to be a handful of Universal Truths that only I know. In an attempt to remedy this here they are, in no particular order:

1. Julia Roberts is not attractive.
2. Reading a comic book is considered reading.
3. It’s important for people to have hobbies and to spend time alone enjoying them.
4. Crocs, the plastic shoe/sandal things, are hideous.
5. “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” is the worst movie ever made.
6. You can learn life skills playing Dungeons and Dragons.
7. Robin Williams is extremely creepy.
8. It’s fun to play board games.
9. Visible thong underwear is not attractive.
10. Listening to National Public Radio will keep you well informed.
11. Being oblivious to the world around you is dangerous and will cost you and possibly the rest of the world in the long run.
12. Sooner or later people become slaves to the things they own.
13. Men should not have smooth hairless bodies. Some grooming is good, too much and you’re a narcissistic asshole.
14. Automobiles are more dangerous than guns and we treat them like toys.
15. Introspection is the most important step in improving oneself.
16. The smell of one’s own farts is comforting.

Stimulate me baby

Social Service Stimulus

This part of the package is aimed at increasing the number of workers in the field of social services. Again, money will be funneled into scholarships and school programs that focus on social work, i.e. school councilors, drug and alcohol abuse councilors, child protective services workers, prisoner rehabilitation specialists and so on. Like the healthcare stimulus the ultimate goal is to get services to everyone who needs them. Feeling unusually down at school, there are always school councilors available. Experienced a period of rage aimed at your child last night, a councilor at your hospital takes walk-ins.

There are currently too many forgotten people in our country. They are the addicts, the homeless, the hungry, the hopeless, sometimes the lazy and the mentally ill and more often than not they end up costing the country a lot of money. Since they have no insurance they use emergency rooms for healthcare, they end up in jail, they live off of disability payments and welfare but most vexing it is these forgotten who become criminals. It’s the lady with untreated schizophrenia that stabs a stranger in downtown Sacramento , the hopeless and depressed teen who takes a gun to school and kills 4 classmates and so on. By reaching out and helping the lost instead of following our current course of inaction, it’s my hope that we can save money and save lives.

Up next…Education Stimulus

Social Stimulus Interruption

Taking a quick break from Will’s Social Stimulus Plan, to ask a question about gun owners.

I’ve been cruising the conspiracy theory site Above Top Secret for awhile and the gun rights advocates there have got me thinking.

The site is filled with very vocal gun owners who are radically opposed to any type of gun control. Any political thread introduced to the site, be it about the economy or congress, is fair game for the Second Amendment to be brought up. And lately it has been brought up a lot, with New World Order, One World Government, Obama the Socialist theorists frantically posting about any perceived threat.

I’d blame it all on site members but I’ve seen the same anti-regulation vigor in numerous other places. Most famous would be the late Charlton Heston’s proclamation that he’d only relinquish his gun after he was dead.

What is it about guns that inspires such passion in some Americans?

That brings me to another question which delves slightly deeper into the one above, what is it about gun ownership that has caused it to become so intrinsically linked to being American and to the freedoms that we are guaranteed?

Social Stimulus

Recently the government has thrown a lot of money at our collapsing financial institutions. Right or wrong, I can’t say, as the problem is just too big for me to grasp in any real sort of understanding. They say without the money our business infrastructure will collapse, but I can’t help but feel that by propping it up we’re keeping an innately flawed system in business.

Anyway, in thinking about all the money flying around I couldn’t help but question where else it could be used. Hence, I’d like to introduce the Will's Social Stimulus Package!

Here’s how it works, money we dumped in banks and lending institutions will instead be used on people. This social spending will ultimately result in a better educated and more responsible populace and a more stable economy that is based in social service and not irresponsible consumption.

We begin the package with a focus on healthcare, starting with more doctors and nurses. Money will be funneled into medical schools and scholarships for students pursuing careers in the world of healthcare. Students will be encouraged to intern in neighborhood clinics, schools and social service centers. The ultimate goal of this package is having enough doctors and nurses that anyone in need of medical attention is able to get it at a variety of different locales. Public schools will have a nurse on duty at all times, if a workplace has over 200 people at a site they’ll be encouraged to have a doctor or nurse visit once a month or even more often and grocery stores and drug stores that have clinics will see some kind tax incentive.

I’m convinced that this healthcare stimulus will also lower healthcare costs by providing more supply thus meeting all the demand. Sure, drugs and treatment will still be expensive but not as much so because we’ll have eliminated examples like this which increase everyone’s insurance premiums.

Up next…Social Service Stimulus

NWO marching on!

My brother sent me an e-mail that was sent to him by a friend concerning the new movie, “The Obama Deception.” It’s made by conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, and really isn’t so much about President Obama but instead the New World Order that supposedly controls him.

My response:

Dude, it’s talk like that that’s going to get you and your family thrown in one of those FEMA camps!

Yeah, I’ve seen most of this already. Pretty interesting and very well done and I have got to give Alex Jones props. Unlike so many other conspiracy theorists he doesn’t just pimp his books and movies for money. Instead, he’s out there on the “frontlines” raising hell.

Still, I can’t get behind the whole One World Government conspiracy for a few reasons:

1. Those behind the OWG killed President Kennedy, but they can’t kill Alex Jones or Ron Paul?
2. Those behind the OWG must not be too bright. After orchestrating the 9-11 terrorist attacks they had a nation, I’d actually say most of the world, ready to follow President Bush into the bowels of hell and back. Americans would have goose-stepped into FEMA camps and cheered as the government declared martial law. Instead we were urged to shop. Any group that can’t take advantage of a situation like that can’t be too dangerous.
3. According to conspiracy theorists the OWG group is in total support of the North American Union. If President Obama is their puppet, it seems rather odd that his administration put the kibosh on Bush’s cross-border trucking program and that they’ve hyped a new “Buy American” movement in his new budget.
4. I have never heard a logically sound explanation for what the OWG is ultimately after. Alex Jones says that they want power, but don’t they have nearly unimaginable power already? They can buy and sell nations, collapse economies and I really don’t think it would be a stretch to say that they can kill with impunity. What more is there? Alex Smith and many OWG theorists talk about the OWG’s shadowy links to Satanism or some quasi-Egyptian religion. Umm, yeah…that’s just silly.
5. What is a OWG going to do with China , India and Pakistan ? Why did they let them become world economic powers in the first place? Wouldn’t they have been more controllable if kept peasant farmers? What about Saudi Arabia , Israel , Iran and other places driven more by religious dogma than maximum profit?
6. If I remember correctly, there are about 90 guns for every 100 citizens in the United States . The OWG folks should have nipped that in the bud a little earlier.

Anyway, that’s just a few things to think about. I’m much more worried about our more concrete problems: sky rocketing national debt, bank failure, lost nuclear material, punks shooting cops in Oakland , Mexico ’s encroaching drug war, and so on.

Time enough for Harry Potter

Man, I’ve been sick for almost 2 weeks. I actually missed two days of work and had to have my Mom come and drop me off some food and drink. I must have slept for a good 50 hours in 4 days. When I wasn’t sleeping I was reading the last Harry Potter book.

I was a bit disappointed with it, but that’s not a surprise as I was never as in to them as the rest of the family. The first few books were definitely aimed at children and it was pretty easy to see what was coming. Still, they were fun and enjoyable. The middle books were my favorite, as they had some definite character growth and they slowly became darker as Potter’s world became more dangerous. The last one though just had so many Dues Ex Machina plot moments it was distracting. How many times can Harry and his pals be saved by invisible ultra-powerful benefactors…apparently, quite a few.

Overall, I had one big problem with the series, the physics and infrastructure don’t make any sense. The books focus a lot on the actual workings of what they call the “wizarding world” and by inviting us into these aspects of the world were forced to examine them and they are found lacking. Spells that are introduced in one book aren’t ever mentioned in the previous volumes. Extremely important points are forgotten from book to book and the citizens of Harry’s world are more illogical then anything you’d find in the real world. The plots raise so many questions that never have answers. Are their leaders elected? How much power does a wizard actually have? Why don’t wizards use computers? Why don’t wizards cure cancer? Does every country have wizards? Do they fall under the control of the wizarding leaders in Harry’s area?

However, they are children’s books set in a fantasy world so I’m probably an idiot for having so many questions.

Movies!

So I’ve seen a couple movies in the last few months but haven’t written about them, so here are some short, to the point reviews.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: This is a pretty good movie but it reminded me way too much of “Forest Gump” and “Big Fish.” Too bad it wasn’t as good as either of those. Button is a little long for my tastes and since I already knew how it was going to end, how could anyone not, it’s a bit anticlimactic.

Oh, one last thing, Cate Blanchett is freaking gorgeous.

Doubt: This cast is crazy good. Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Meryl Streep, Amy Adams and Viola Davis loom like giants over their Hollywood brethren.

The movie was written and directed by the same person who wrote and directed the play of the same name. In a few areas this is blindingly obvious and, to be honest, I sometimes found these instances slightly annoying. I enjoy both movies and live performances but there are definite differences in how each is staged and acted. Sometimes when you stage a movie like a play or vice versa there is just something off putting about it and there were a few times in “Doubt” where I really noticed this.

Still, the movie is fantastic and well worth seeing. If you have seen it, did he do it or not?

Taken: I’d recommend skipping the first 30 minutes of this movie as it’s just poorly done exposition that stands in the way of Liam Neeson kicking major ass. Not since his turn as Rob Roy McGregor has he been this damn cool. (The ex-CIA agent he plays here would stomp a mud hole in any jedi’s ass.)

The action is very Jason Bourne, but this is a plus in my book. Kick ass!

Slumdog Millionaire: This movie is fantastic. It’s well acted, edgy and inventive. The camera work is utterly stunning. So much so, that I’d give it the Academy Awards for Best Movie, Best Director and Best Cinematography based solely on that.

I’m really not sure what else to say about it, except you should immediately go see it so that you can catch it on the big screen. If you don’t, you’ll regret it when you accidently catch it on cable.

Friday the 13th (Remake): I went with a buddy who reviews movies for an indie newspaper to see this, so I got in to the sneak peak for free.

I guess you know what to expect when you go into a movie like this. A remake of a slasher classic by the makers of slickly cut pop music videos. It’s glossy, vapid, and doesn’t make a lick of sense which is bad. But on the other hand, it’s vapid, bloody and filled with boobies galore which is good.

The oddest thing about this movie isn’t how quiet a 400 pound killer wearing work boots can be, but that it’s pretty blatantly racist. I’d be curious if any one else feels the same way, but I know that pretty much everyone I know will never see this movie. I guess I’ll have to take my thoughts to the Internet Movie Database and bounce them around there.

See this if you liked many of the new horror movie remakes, if not, skip it.